A Kiss in Cyrano De Bergerac

I just finished Cyrano De Bergerac. Oh there are so many fabulous scenes! The opening theatre scene, the famous balcony scene and most of all the wonderful ending full of "panache". Oh Oh Oh Oh, I would pay anything to watch the play in real life!

CYRANO:
A kiss, when all is said,--what is it?
An oath that's ratified,--a sealed promise,
A heart's avowal claiming confirmation,--
A rose-dot on the 'i' of 'adoration,'--
A secret that to mouth, not ear, is whispered,--
Brush of a bee's wing, that makes time eternal,--
Communion perfumed like the spring's wild flowers,--
The heart's relieving in the heart's outbreathing,
When to the lips the soul's flood rises, brimming

countries that are simply hypothetical or impossible

"In the plausible intimacy of approaching evening, as I stand waiting for the stars to begin at the window of this fourth floor room that looks out on the infinite, my dreams move to the rhythm required by long journeys to countries as yet unknown, or to countries that are simply hypothetical or impossible." - The Book of Disquiet, Fernando Pessoa

It's funny when people tell me that I'm naive. My first internal response is always, "Oh gosh! If they only knew me in secondary school". Perhaps, everyone was idealistic in secondary school, but reading my blogs in secondary school and junior college even I want to laugh and hug myself. I sometimes worry that my younger self will be disappointed in me.

I feel the great need to tell everybody to love love love and dare dare dare. I hate seeing people tired and worn out and weary and becoming disaffected and disinterested. Because i hate seeing my soul come out real life in all these people's faces. We must clutch on tight to our hopes.

Oh, everything is so fragile these days that when somebody turned and told me, "crystal, i think i can never be as idealistic as you", it went right into my heart and stayed there.

I'm scared one day my naive words would become signposts, signposts in a foreign country.

Words i no longer understand and unable to guide me to the places i want to go to.

But now, they are my signposts. And i own them.

So, love.

- 2006

Even stranger, when I was seventeen I said, "Young love have a whole future to live up to, and old love a whole past." You were so right, my dear.

Written on the 2nd day of Chinese New Year:

I used to carry a book everywhere as a child. Adults foist you into all kinds of awkward social situations - such that the only seemingly decent thing (besides nodding vacantly at the middling conversation) was to read. Unfortunately, what as a child was looked upon as a romantic whimsy is now as an adult seen as inconsideration.

It's a real pity because I could use more reading time.